La Chiquita

La Chiquita
2577 Portage Mall
Portage, IN 46368 MAP
(219) 763-6413
Hours:
N/A

June 9th, 2005. 12:00 p.m.

Upon seating myself in the non-smoking section at La Chiquita, I had the unpleasant experience of having my knees sticking to the clear vinyl that was covering the tablecloth. I quickly ordered the burrito ($7.95!) and awaited the chips and salsa that I hoped would take my mind off the vinyl.

The chips were very good although they were broken quite a bit. The coloring of the chips was also inconsistent. Some were much darker than others leading me to think they were re-fried or from a different batch that was overcooked. I’m not sure why I even commented on that, as the coloring had no affect on taste. The salsa was excellent and would turn out to be the highlight of the meal.

When the burrito arrived, I noticed a small pool of juice coming from the right side (see 1st burrito pic). I immediately thought, “A well wrapped burrito shouldn’t be leaking.” I soon realized I was correct when I grabbed the burrito to weigh it and the whole underside fell open! It was as if the cook threw the ingredients on the plate, put a tortilla on top, and merely tucked it under and around the filling. An award for “worst folding job” should be given here. The filling in this burrito consisted of steak and beans. That’s it. So I did my best to flip the thing over, eat some of the steak and beans out, and refold the burrito. Before I refolded the burrito, I noticed how it looked like a ripped open carcass or Jesse Ventura’s chest cavity after it was blasted open in the movie Predator (see 2nd burrito pic). Yuck. This review was quickly becoming comical. As far as taste goes, the steak was good but very greasy. The grease and obvious lack of ingredients absolutely ruined my dining experience. Thank goodness there was some lettuce and tomato on the side to break the monotony of this Atkins-fest.

Well, what else can I say about this burrito that hasn’t already been said about an annual prostate exam? I think awarding 4 out of 10 sombreros for flavor may prove to be generous.





Weight: 19.1 ounces
Length: 8 inches
Circumference: 9.5 inches
Price: $7.95 or 41.6¢ an ounce
Beer availability: No

Flavor: 4/10 sombreros
Value: 6/10 sombreros